Self-love comes in many forms, but let’s be honest, we often take it for granted or don’t even recognize it.

It can look something like this: 

You can’t wait to get home after working a 12-hour shift and eat that leftover pizza that you also had last night because you probably spent that last fiber of strength at work to manage any remaining energy to prepare and cook a decent meal. 

And honestly, pizza is the only “decent” option. On your way home, you convince yourself that it won’t be so bad. Pizza is always like a hug on the inside anyway. But you just can’t help feeling somewhat…dry and dehydrated.

But you hoped that swipe of lipstick that you hurriedly applied would somehow put up a facade of radiance. Because what’s the harm in looking good and exerting that last bit of confidence? And the next thing you’re thinking is, “I’m dying for a shower.”

Another scenario is it probably wasn’t such an exhilarating day at school; you’re slumped on your bed and you’re mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and TikTok, just to escape for a while. But honestly, you don’t really care what everyone is doing. And then you remember YouTube. That’s right, now it’s a battle between the three of them. But you also got Twitter (or X, whichever you prefer to call it). After almost an hour of jumping from one app to another, finally feeling like you’ve kept up with the world, it’s time to get that research paper out of the way. 

But your story might be different. Or the examples I mentioned are strangely the same as what you’re going through right now. I swear I’m not watching, and I don’t know you. You just happened to stumble upon this blog. 

We all have different ways to cope and salvage that last bit of amusement, control, and freedom before finally going to sleep to do the exact same thing tomorrow. Unless, finally, it’s a weekend.

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Self-love shows up in small, everyday actions, but we rarely see it that way. We don’t always do things because we ‘deserve’ them—it’s often just reaction and impulse. But that’s the thing, we tend to feed and indulge ourselves at every chance we can get.

At night, we find ourselves stripping down. Trying to spoil ourselves in return. It’s the total opposite of the energy that we have at the start of the day when we’re ready to conquer everything. You make yourself up from having that bomb shower with the most fragrant soaps and lotions, to skincare, and then a little bit of makeup to start strong. Now that’s self-care too, even if you’re about to surrender yourself to that job every single day. 

The difference? We do these things on autopilot, like chores rather than choices.

And that’s how self-love is unbecoming, when you find no purpose in anything that you do especially in the little things. The fine line between self-love and self-care is the “intentional” approach. It’s the feeling of finding joy even in the most mundane activities. It’s allowing yourself to absorb and enjoy the process. 

For example, you despise the process of “running” as your workout. But instead of feeling like you can’t wait to reach the final lap, how about absorbing everything that you see around you? Or maybe try to ponder the development of strength and endurance as you go on.

And there you go, another step is a step closer to your goal.

Skincare is no different. You might think, ‘It’s just washing my face, what’s so special about it?’ But when done with intention, even the simplest routine becomes an act of self-care.

What’s so special is the art of taking your time. Not necessarily for the sake of the effectiveness of your products. Although this could be a factor – Kim Nichols, a board-certified dermatologist mentioned in Allure that products should “settle into the skin” before continuing on to the next step. Although no studies support that having a specific amount of time would reflect a drastic change in your skincare outcome, it could help prevent:

1. Uneven application.
2. Mixing of incompatible ingredients (especially actives).
3. Moving the “just applied” product from its targeted place.

And skincare doesn’t stop with just product application. It could go beyond the simple skincare routine process, such as:

Facial massages 

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Pampering yourself using Gua Shas, face rollers or even using your hands doesn’t just encourage a more luxurious experience, but it can also help to reduce facial muscle tensions, reduce puffiness, and enhance product absorption. I don’t promise magical overnight results, but one of the studies conducted in the National Library of Medicine for two weeks has shown that facial massages can help improve the shape and firmness of the face, adding to that more youthful look.

Mindful cleansing

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Not just for the face, but also for the body. Taking your time in the bath or thoroughly cleansing your body using sponges or salts is an instant rejuvenating experience you’ll probably contemplate if 15 minutes of bath time is truly enough.

Changing your pillowcase

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Not only do we love the smell of changed linens and the magically improved sleep once you hit your head on it, but it’s also a plus for facial cleanliness by getting rid of oils, residues, and invisible drool traces. Imagine your pillowcase like your own clothing. Now, I don’t know about you, but that’s how often you should change them – preferably. Good sleep and good skin? Love that for you.

Drinking enough water and eating skin-friendly foods

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As I’ve mentioned before, self-care is any activity that contributes to your overall well-being when it comes to mental, emotional, and physical needs. And consumption of the right food (basically everything non-processed with the appropriate portions, of course) can instantly elevate your overall mood!

So you see, skincare isn’t just about your appearance. It’s about the cultivation of self-appreciation, confidence, and small wins that build over time. You might not see it, but eventually, your progress shines through. You gain a newfound acknowledgment of things that you have, develop resilience for life’s challenges, and a deeper sense of self-worth.

Have you taken a moment for yourself lately? If not, take this as an invitation to make space for yourself. Without guilt. Without rush. 🤍